Pharmacy Etiquette

As most of you know, I work as a Pharmacy Technician. It's a rewarding job, and I've learned a lot. I've also seen some of the most idiotic people on the face of the planet. Suffice it to say that tonight was worse than a 7-day cruise through Satan's GI tract. Therefore, I'm dedicating this post to some of my pet-peeves working at a pharmacy. If you use a pharmacy for anything, DONT F***ING DO THIS SHIT.

1. Come Correct

- If you are going to come get your shit filled, know your insurance information. This applies to everyone, especially all of you sorority girls whose daddies are still paying for everything. Time to put your big girl shorts on and be on your shit. I have about 17 billion other things to do in my job than to sit around and try to figure out what drug plan you have with no information.

2. Why is it gonna take 15 minutes? All it is is just putting a label on a box right?

- If you say this to me, I'm not going to act out on it, but in my mind I'ma be choking your ass out so damn hard. In a world where we all wanted our shit 5 minutes ago, telling someone their wait will be 15 minutes is tantamount to calling their grandmother a whore. There is a lot of stuff going on to get you your meds in a timely manner. And, guess what? YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY DAMN PERSON WHO USES MY PHARMACY. Oh, yes. Let me drop filling Mrs. Jenkins' diabeetis medicine that she needs to f***ing live, so you can have your birth control so you and your man can get it in tonight. Clearly your needs are superior to hers. STFU.

3. It is not my fault that your triflant-ass insurance plan doesn't pay for your shit.

- I legitimately had one lady bless me out up and down one time because her insurance was crappy, and it was clearly my fault. I don't write your insurance formularies (for those who aren't familiar, a formulary is a list of drugs an insurance will pay for. Chances are if you need it, it's not on there). I'm not a damn psychic. I don't know what's on your plan. If you were on top of your shit (see #1), you'd know what your plan will and will not pay for. I'm not Miss Cleo behind the counter.

4. If you drive up in an escalade, and you threw some d's on that bitch, and you got a new phone and bling hanging from your neck, but your ass is on government assistance, it's time to re-evaluate your life decisions. That all I'm gonna say about that hot ass mess.

5. Just because there's a drive-thru doesn't mean you should use it.

- Seriously though. This isn't f***ing mcdonalds. It's a pharmacy. We have other shit to be doing besides coming to the window to deal with your lazy ass. And if you are gonna use the drive-thru, its to pick up your medicine only. No lie, this guy once asked me for a USA Today and a Coke. Really? (DISCLAIMER: the elderly and the handicapped get a pass on this. I'm more than happy to assist those who can't physically get up and walk into the store.)

So, basically, show up to the pharmacy with your shit straight, and it will be a pleasant experience for all of us. :D

OUT.