Rainbows, Sperrys, and You

so, as many people have reminded me again and again (and again and again and again and again and AGAIN), my blog has been without a post for entirely too long. I pondered tirelessly how I would explain my absence to you faithful readers, and I could only come up with one explanation: I'm lazy. Sorry bout it. Anyway, while I was away, I had the displeasure of sitting through this shitload of triflance. Apparently this fool named Lance Diamond (I personally have a hard time believing that Diamond is this child's name) can't wear shoes like normal people. And life has just gotten so damn hard for this child that he had to make a 5-minute long video to tell the world about his plight. This is all sorts of hot a** mess-ness for a ton of reasons, some of which I will now take you through...

1. About 30 seconds to 1 minute into the video, this fool puts his nasty-ass feet up in the camera. It's bad enough that you're bitching about your shoes on the internet, but ain't nobody tryin' to see your stank-ass feet up on their screen. That is all sorts of rude.

2. He just had to announce to the world that he goes to Virginia Tech. As if any of the rest of us were tryin to be implicated in this shitshow. there are around 26,000 students at this university, and I know damned well that 25,999 of us were taught as a child how to wear shoes. Clearly, Mr. Diamond was neglected that lesson as a child.

3. He wants to be a frat-boy. No further explanation necessary.

4. "My dad is a lawyer for Exxon, so that basically means he runs the world"... Really, bitch? Thats the logic you're using? Because thats the logic a kindergartener would use. STOP EMBARASSING US.

I could go on, but frankly, it makes my head hurt to try to sort out the illogical clusterfuck that is Lance Diamond. A statement from Mr. Diamond after the video had been released claimed that this was just a "joke video." Either he's trying to cover his ass, or he's the worst comedian since Adam Carolla. I personally think it's both. Rumor has it that he actually got a bid to one of the frats. Somehow, I think he'll fit right in. As if we need more of them running around. But, thats another topic for another post.

OUT.

clothes, bad drivers, and FOOTBALL

so its been a while since my last post. sorry bout it. school sucks. anyway, lets dive right in, shall we?

1. PSA to all the freshmen: just because you're in college now doesn't mean you can completely lose your damned minds. This goes for everything, but especially your attire. I know, I know. Mommy isn't dressing you anymore, so you finally have some leeway with your choice of dress. This doesn't, however, give you an excuse to come out the house looking like a colorblind mess. I saw some child walk across the drillfield the other day with blue hair, a fire-engine red top, a pink skirt, and green shoes. Seriously, what are you doing with your life? It's like these fools just wake up, go stumble around in their closet for about 10 minutes, and walk out wearing whatever happened to fall on them. And, while we're on this, let me take a minute to call out all of you guys who think it's acceptable to wear sandals with jeans. Because it's not. If its cold enough outside for your ass to be wearing jeans, then its probably cold enough to cover your damned feet. This is triflance at its finest.

2. A lot of things piss me off, but probably few do so more than ignorant-ass drivers. Case in point: I was driving to class today, and this fool in a huge truck decides to forget himself and speed past me, and then cut me off. Now, he's lucky I have Jesus in my life, because otherwise I would have pulled his ass over and gone off on him like Oprah on Stedman. And, to make things worse, as he passed me, I noticed him mean-muggin' me. Bitch, you must think very highly of yourself to try this shit with me, and obviously you don't know who I am, but I can set you straight in about 5 minutes. Don't test me.

3. FOOTBALL. Besides the fact that I was gettin damn tired of hearing about that lockout mess, I'm ecstatic that it's back. Especially College Football. As I was watching Wisconsin curb-stomp UNLV last night, I was thinking. All of these other teams annihilated their creampuffs. Even GT. THE BUMBLEBEES. And you know our asses will be lucky to beat App State by 7 this weekend. This is unacceptable. If we don't at least score 60 points on these asshats, I promise I will punt someones child through the uprights from the 50-yard-line. Come on, kids. If the bumblebees can do it, so can we. But, no matter. I hope to be in a tryptophan (and maybe rum) induced stupor by the third quarter anyway. TURKEY LEGS FTW.

VT > the Hot Hot Hot Mountaineers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVENWl8uBeg

LETS GO....

OUT.